Things Jackie Doesn't Know
by DakotahOfManyFandoms
Summary: A fluffy little Doctor/Rose oneshot. Rose and the Doctor learn a very important lesson about shagging in Jackie's flat. Specifically, not to do it. Rated T for innuendoes and language.


**Okay, so this is my first (published) Doctor Who fanfic! I've been into the fandom for a little less than a year now, and Rose/Doctor has been my OTP for almost as long. Those of you that are fans of Torchwood may recognize the reference to Jack and Ianto's favorite game, naked hide and seek X3 This is complete and utter nonsense cut from my mind after minimal sleep and a day with my crazy friends. So, enjoy.  
Allons-y!**

* * *

"Rose? Rose love, are you up?"

Rose's eyes snapped open. "Shit. Doctor. Hide. Now."

"Rooooose, now's really not the time for naked hide and seek." he whimpered sleepily, rolling over to bury his face in her pillow. "Five more minutes."

She slapped his arm. "Doctor! I mean it! My mum's coming."

At these last three words he jumped up, a ridiculous caught-in-the-act expression on his face, and ducked into her closet, shutting the door just as Jackie Tyler took her first step into the room.

"Morning!" she chirped brightly, turning on the light.

"Morning mum." Rose replied, pulling the covers up around her, hoping her mother didn't notice her current state of undress.

"Shareen just called. She heard you were back in town and she wanted to take us out to breakfast! Isn't that lovely? Apparently she has some new bloke she's just _dying _to show you. Claims he's absolutely brilliant, but I doubt it since the only job he's ever held is at Tesco's and...wait, since when do you own a blue button up?" Jackie lifted the Doctor's shirt from where it had been flung on the floor in last night's haste.

Rose's face turned completely red. "Um…I…I bought it a couple weeks ago in this one alien market. The Doctor and I had to pose as workers for a government building and I had absolutely nothing official to wear, so…" she trailed off, anxiously trying to gage her mother's reaction.

Jackie shrugged. "Alright. Looks a little big, but I guess it must be hard to shop on alien planets, eh? I'll just hang it up for you. This room is a mess."

Rose panicked as she stepped towards the closet. "Oh, that's okay, mum. You can just set it over there and I'll do it later." She motioned in a vague direction, fervently wishing that her mother would just _leave_.

"Suit yourself." Jackie set it down on the desk and Rose sighed with relief. "So I'll tell Shareen yes to breakfast, then?"

"Yeah, sure. I'll be out in a sec."

"Alright sweetheart! Oh, bring the Doctor too! I'm sure she'd love to meet him!" Jackie left, closing the door behind her. As soon as she was gone, the Doctor popped out of the closet again.

"That was a close one." he said, sinking down heavily onto Rose's bed.

"You're telling me! See, this is why we need to do this in the TARDIS! What if she just walks in one morning and sees us all cuddled up and naked? She'd slap you into your next regeneration!"

"But the TARDIS is so far away!" he whined, shifting so that he was hovering over her with a smirk playing on his lips. "And you are so very, very tempting."

"Is that so?" She grinned, pressing her lips to his in a playful kiss. Rose pulled back after a few seconds, but it was clear that the Doctor wanted so much more by the way he tried to follow her and groaned when he realized she wasn't there anymore.

"Come on, we've got to get ready for breakfast. I'd hate to keep Shareen waiting, she's an absolute _terror_ when she's mad." Rose bounced off the bed, picking a random jumper from the floor and pulling it on.

"Oh, okay. But only for you, Rose Tyler." He pointed his finger at her accusingly. "I don't want to spend time with your friend and her rubbish boyfriend, but I'll do it because I l-" He stopped, suddenly incapable of speech.

"Because you what?" Rose pressed, heart pounding, mind racing. _Sayitsayitsayitsayit…_

He cleared his throat. "Nothing. So!" he clapped his hands together, quickly changing the subject. "Something just occurred to me. If we exit this room together, your mother might come to some very correct conclusions concerning you, me and our sex life that I don't really want her to make. As that is the case, I see three distinct options. One; we just walk out there and let her think what she will. Two; I climb out that window, risking falling about five stories and drawing the attention of the neighbors. Three; you take her into some other room to show her something and I casually sneak out back to the TARDIS."

"Well, the telly in the den has been acting up a bit lately. I s'pose I could take her in there for a few minutes. But you have to promise that as soon as you get to the TARDIS you'll bring it straight up here. No dilly-dallying around in the Void and trying to put off breakfast, okay?"

"Okay." he said, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek. "I promise."

"Alright. Give me thirty seconds, then make a run for it." She turned to leave, pausing with her hand on the doorknob. "Oh, and Doctor?" She grinned. "You're still naked."

He looked down in alarm and tore around the room like a madman, attempting to find and put on his clothes as quickly as possible. Rose giggled. She might never get the chance to say it, but she loved this man with her whole heart, soul and body. Beneath all his quirks, his arrogant authority and occasional angstyness, there was a sweet, caring, almost human like gentleness that endeared him to her, that made her stay, even after he changed. Once upon a time, the Doctor had told her he didn't do domestic.

However, rule number one _is _the Doctor lies.


End file.
